***Note***

"The Potty Boot Camp: Basic Training for Toddlers" now includes a chapter about how to get your toddler to poop on the potty. It's straightforward and step-by-step. Please contact me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it with any questions you might have.

A question that I am asked on a regular basis is "Why won't my child poop on the potty?" Know that you are not alone if currently facing this common toilet training problem. As frustrating as it might be, steps can certainly be taken to overcome this stumbling block to diaper freedom. 

More common in older potty training children (2.5 years and older), the "poop" issue can become a major power struggle between you and your toddler. The reasons for this apparent stubbornness can be caused by fear, medical problems, embarrassment, or standard toddler contrariness. Let's tackle each issue one by one: 

Medical Problems:

First, a disclaimer: If you believe your child's unwillingness to poop on the potty is truly a medical issue, please consult with your pediatrician. There is a condition called encopresis which is caused from chronic constipation. Children experiencing encopresis have a problem with the bowel that dulls the normal senses about the urge to go. A more benign medical condition is basic constipation, in which the child fails to have a bowel movement over a couple of days. Usually an increase in dietary fiber or a mild stool softener will help to relieve the situation. 

Fear:

Believe it or not, many children believe that poop is a part of their body. Imagine how reluctant you might be to use the toilet if you thought a body part might fall off each time! For other children, the fear comes from the actual sensation of air hitting their bottom, the "plop" that can be heard in the water below, or the sound of flushing. Other children have had a previous painful episode of constipation and they become afraid to experience it again. 

Embarrassment:

I think many of us can confess to occasionally "making a stink" about our child's poop. We joke or tease about the smell, or the size, or the consistency of the poop. Some children, especially the "sensitive" ones, can become self-conscious about this bodily function. If you think this might be the reason for your child's problem, try to discuss poop in a very matter-of-fact manner. Make it clear to your child that pooping is a very normal and natural part of life. It might be helpful to read books to your child such as "Everyone Poops" by Taro Gomi. 

Stubbornness:

For most parents reading this article, the "terrible twos (or threes, or fours)" might be the culprit in your potty problems. The key in convincing your child to use the toilet rather than their pants is to find a method to make the child finally decide that life is just easier and more sanitary if they use the toilet. Some parents are violently opposed to bribes or "punishment" but sometimes the basic concept of "you get as good as you give" is the magic answer. If your child cooperates, they get positive reinforcement. If they don't, negative reinforcement is dispensed. Allowing the child to decide if the positives outweigh the negatives will actually empower them and allow for increased independence. It's also temporary - believe me, you won't have to bribe your child to poop in the potty on the day of their high school graduation! 

"The Potty Boot Camp: Basic Training for Toddlers" is a step-by-step toilet training manual that will have your toddler diaper and accident free in about a week. For more information, please visit www.thepottybootcamp.com.

Question:

First of all, thanks for writing and publishing this book. I know its been great for a lot of people.  Three weeks of hard work, and we are tempted to give up.

Our daughter is 18 months old and was showing signs that she was ready. She would even urinate when we put her on the potty. I believe we followed the method very closely. We thought she was doing well, but she never really self-initiated until the second or third day.

Three weeks later she is still having several accidents a day and is very reluctant to poop in the potty. She has let us know she needs to go a hand full of times which we celebrate exuberantly. But usually, we end up seeing the warning signs and asking her if she will go to the potty. To this she often replies, "NO" shaking her head. I know it is impossible for you to diagnose what when wrong without seeing all we did. But after reading your book and how confident you were that this would work and that it works for everybody else, we really feel like we failed our daughter. We put her (and ourselves) through a lot of stress and have very little to show for it except several stains on the carpet. Sorry to be a downer, but I needed to vent. Are we the only ones that go through this?

Answer:

 

Many parents ask me throughout their training process just how to give their child just that added bit of incentive to use the potty. A common sense and straightforward tip I have given is to make the child help in the cleanup of accidents. Instilling a sense of personal responsibility truly helps to motivate your child to use the toilet instead of the floor!

The manner in which you act and talk while cleaning up is pretty important. When she has an accident, make a look on your face that conveys "ick!" Tell her she needs to clean up her icky, yucky, pee pee or poo clothes and the icky mess on the floor. Don't act angry or irritated in any way, but make it clear to her that this is something that is yucky and she needs to fix. Make her take off her own clothes.

The first time you do this, show her step by step what she needs to do - but after that make her do it on her own, and make her do every step. Clean the floor first. This makes her stay in her wet clothes a little longer, which is a motivator to not have it happen again. Then make her wipe herself down - if it's really messy you can take her to the tub and have her give herself a mini-bath. You'll probably be silently cringing during this whole cleanup because she's likely to make the mess worse instead of better!) After she takes off the dirty clothes, pick them up like they are contaminated with nuclear waste and carry them over to the sink. (Obviously dump the poo out of the panties into the potty first.) Tell her she needs to wash her icky clothes because they are now smelly and dirty from her pee or poop. Show her how to run the water, put the panties under the faucet, squeeze and rinse. Then take her to the place you want her to put her dirty panties. Show major relief - "Whew, that's so much better now that you're not dirty and icky any more!" Go get some clean panties.

• Try to give your child a drink about 15 minutes before taking them to the toilet. This will increase their chance of success. Do, however, try to avoid giving too many drinks as this will throw off the child's "normal" routine.
• Decide ahead of time if you want to teach your child to leave the door open or shut as part of their toileting routine.
• Avoid using "baby talk" for words associated with toileting. Your child might find it difficult to change his language later on. It probably wouldn't be too appropriate to have a 30 year old announce that they are going to go "pee-pee."
• Wet wipes are much more effective than dry toilet paper for easy cleanup.
• Many children have a fear of the sound of the toilet flushing. If this is the case, you might want to remove that step from the sequence and leave it for the end of the routine. You might need to flush the toilet at the beginning and gradually work the child into the task by having them stand closer to the toilet each time you flush.
• Make sure you have a car seat protector installed. This will prevent messy and time-consuming accident cleanup.
• Some children will hold their pee or poop until you put their diaper on. It helps to be aware of this habit in planning your trips to the toilet.
• There is a range of absorbent pants and swimwear for older children available.
• Toilet training is incredibly time consuming. If you have other children you might want to plan to carve out some extra "alone" time with them.
• Train your child at home before tackling the task of teaching them to use public restrooms. When visiting new places, always show your child where the bathrooms are when you arrive. Use the same routine as you do at home. Also use the same visual cues/books/pictures that you use at home.
• Some autistic children like to smear and/or play with their poop. There are complicated reasons as to why this might be the case, so if your child is exhibiting this behaviour you might want to keep him supervised in the bathroom.
• If your child is away from home in a daycare or other setting, try to duplicate the home environment as much as possible. Get a duplicate child's potty or toilet seat insert. Don't forget to send lots of changes of clothes. It is important that you have clear lines of communication during this time so having a home/school book to share concerns and successes is vital.

A parent recently contact me about needing advice for training her 15 month old son. She was convinced her son showed all the signs of "readiness." He was removing his diaper, telling his mother when he was wet, etc. Mom just used her intuition to decide that it was time.

After beginning training, she began to run into a couple of problems. Her son would happily sit on the potty. She was taking him to the toilet every 15 minutes - yet, he would fail to pee on the potty and instead go immediately upon leaving the bathroom.

Below is my response and advice: I have a couple of thoughts. First, I agree with you that your primary concern should be to at least get him to urinate in the toilet. Being that he is so young, getting him to actually tell you when he needs to go might take a few months.

I think you are right on track with the "taking him to the toilet every 15 minutes." When you are there, how long are you having him stay on the toilet? You might want to experiment with the timing. (Take him every 30 minutes but have him sit for 10 or 15 at a time, etc.) It sounds like he needs more time to allow his bladder to release, especially if he is going soon after you take him off of the toilet. Once he develops bladder awareness, and you can get him routinely urinating in the toilet, his reliability in telling YOU when he needs to go will follow.

Some parents actually will have their kids sit on the toilet until they do go...even if it is for an hour. Do as much as you feel is reasonable, and don't FORCE him to sit there if he is fighting you. We want to make sure you keep the toilet an enjoyable experience.

Shifting the timing of the toileting trips should increase her chances of actually "catching" her son in the act and having a success. With each success, her child will begin to make the mental/physical connection between the sensation of needing to go, the feeling of letting go, and the physical act of doing so on the potty.

Potty training is new territory for your toddler. Up until now, they have been happy-go-lucky, learning about her new world at there own pace and making all kinds of exciting discoveries. They have learned how to form sounds into words that communicate what they want, she’s learned how to put her legs under her and walk and all this was done at her own pace. They probably thinks she invented walking and talking. Now all of a sudden, someone has decided she will no longer relieve herself in her diaper and plops her down on a potty and tells her to “go”. This is fertile ground for potty training problems.

Prevention is the Best Cure

Look at potty training from the child’s perspective. What kind of introduction has she had to the toilet and the bathroom in general. Has this room been off-limits before now? Let her follow you into the bathroom before you start potty training her. Answer the questions that occur.

Let her flush the toilet and sit on it with the lid closed first. Believe it or not, many children are afraid of the toilet. They see things go down and not come back and wonder if that can happen to them.

When they are comfortable being around the toilet, let her sit on the seat. If they feels afraid, buy her a potty seat that snaps on securely or a potty chair. Humans are born with the fear of falling and sitting on a toilet seat with nothing under her can make your child feel like she’s going to fall.

Regression, is when a child begins to learn potty training, then suddenly seems to lose ground. Children who were perfectly happy to go along with the potty training routine all of a sudden begin having accidents frequently. Regression isn’t always a problem.

There may be an external factor such as a change in the environment that is causing the regression or it may just be that they want to slow down a little. Most experts agree that periods of regression are normal during potty training and, unless there is a medical condition such as a urinary tract infection, they do not need intervention. Simply continue to gently encourage her with her potty training and they will get back on track.

Most potty training problems can be identified by looking at them through your child’s eyes. Inconsistencies, fears, punishment for accidents and regression can all trigger potty training problems.

More tips from http://www.pottytrainingtipsonline.com/

Below is a peek at a family's blog....the mother has made a post about her twin boys and their success with The Potty Boot Camp.

It works again!

http://www.kettmanfamily.com/big-news-this-last-week

Below is a link to a blog post about a helpful potty training tip: To turn your vehicle into a moving porta-potty! (For a selection of great travel potties, click HERE.)

Thanks to this blogger for a great idea!

Life At the Circus: Best Potty Training Trick Ever

http://lifeatthecircus.com/2008/11/11/best-potty-training-trick-ever

Potty Training Reality Show (PAID) - January 28, 2009
We are conducting a casting for a POTTY TRAINING REALITY SHOW

Casting Dates: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday January 26, 27, 28, 2009
Prize Money: All participants will be compensated. One family will appear in a National commercial.

We are looking for the following:
Families that: Cover a broad and accurate spectrum of today’s American society. The parents should be engaging, outgoing and interesting. Their ages can vary from early twenties to mid-forties. Their family size should vary from an only child to multiple children (including twins and triplets if possible).

The parents should be comfortable in front of camera both when crew is and is not present.

The parents should be willing to use only the client’s products until their child is potty trained.

We are looking for Families with children who will be potty training in March 2009
We are booking a lot of families with children and we would like to see Boys & Girls ALL ETHNICITIES!

Caucasian, Asian, African American, Hispanic, Native American, any and All
Ethnicities. * Please note send only Dade, Broward, and Palm Beach families.
The children should range between 18 months and 4 years - old during shooting. Because of the time sensitive nature of potty training challenges and the shoot schedule, we should look for children facing challenges that fit naturally within the featured product offerings (extra protection at night when sleeping, time sensitive potty training deadlines like pre-school enrollment, etc.). The children need to be comfortable around a camera crew. Children with interesting personality traits (stubbornness, playfulness, etc) are a plus. Children who exhibit pre-existing special potty training related story lines are also a plus (fear of flushing, unwillingness to sit on the potty, etc).


Things that will be explored during casting:
· Single parents· Spanish (or other second language) speaking households
· twins and triplets
· Extended families under one roof
· parents of toddlers in their mid 40’s
· young first time parents
· children with challenges that require our featured product offerings
· children with pre-existing potty related story lines

Email Tammy If you want to attend this casting. This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Below is the text of a post from the blog of Dr. Molly O Shea, a Michigan-based pediatrician. The original article can be read HERE.

Dr. Molly O'Shea: Ask the Pediatrician

Bedwetting is common; here's how to manage it

I get a lot of questions about bedwetting. I often suspect parents are going to bring it up when I walk into the room for a well visit for a really healthy 8-year-old boy and find both parents in the room.

In an attempt to solve the problem, parents have limited fluids after dinner, given their child a pep talk about getting up during the night if they feel the need to pee, and some have even set their own alarm or wakened their child when they go to bed to pee during the night. A few have tried dangling a big reward (like a new bike) if the child can stay dry, and others have punished their child for these wet nights. These strategies have something in common: They don't work.

What parents don't understand is that this is a very common problem, and their child is not to blame. Most kids complete potty training and stay dry throughout the day by age 3 1/2 to 4 years, but nighttime dryness can take much longer to achieve. Did you know that 9 percent of boys and 6 percent of girls still have consistent bedwetting at age 7? These percentages decrease only slightly by age 10, and even at age 18, about 0.5 percent of people wet the bed at least twice a month.

Sometimes the cause of bedwetting in school-aged kids is a sleep disorder. If your child snores a lot during sleep, be sure to mention this to your doctor. Very rarely is bedwetting caused by a neurologic problem and associated with constipation and clumsiness.

So what is a parent to do? First, it is appropriate to bring your child to the doctor to confirm there is no physical cause for the problem. This is especially true if your child never had bedwetting issues and has suddenly started wetting the bed.

Because an immaturity of the neurologic system is at the root of the problem, trying to train your child to stay dry at night before he or she is ready is futile. I liken it to trying to teach a 6-month-old to walk. How then do you know when your child is ready? If you have a family history of bedwetting and know the age at which the relative achieved dryness, you can start trying about 6 months or at most a year ahead of that age. If he has been wet every night of the week for years, and suddenly you are getting a couple of dry nights each week, it is a good time to try. Other signs of readiness are a desire to be out of Pull-Ups at night.

The best method for night training is to use a bedwetting alarm. These alarms awaken the child as soon as there is any wetness on the sensor. This process can take several months but is over 80 percent effective.

What about medications? DDAVP works by essentially turning off the kidneys so less urine is made. The medication works for about half the kids and can be tried if your child is going to camp or a sleepover.

Eventually, your child will achieve consistent night dryness either through normal maturation or the help of an alarm.

Dr. Molly O'Shea is a Troy-based pediatrician. Read Dr. Molly's blog at www.detnews.com/drmolly