This question and answer came from a mother who has a child who is terrified to pee in the potty.The child understands fully the 'how and why' of using the toilet, but simply has a significant fear of actually putting her pee in the potty! Read Below:
Question: My daughter seems to have an overwhelming fear of releasing on the potty. We tried everything we could possibly think of including the potty in the bathtub and the diaper/towels on the floor. We ended up putting her back in diapers and have kept her in diapers for the past 2 months. Now we want to give it a try again. I have this week off so I decided this would be a good time. Last night I took all of the diapers out of the cupboard where we keep them and this morning I told my daughter that we were all out of diapers and that she got to wear panties today! She checked the cupboard and seemed OK with that and was excited about wearing panties - a positive start I thought! Well the rest of the day was not so positive. We did regular trips to the potty (using the timer) and she was happy to sit on the potty but she did not pee on the potty at all. She had an accident while eating lunch and then held her pee for the rest of the day until 8:PM when we were putting her to bed. For about 2 hours this evening (from 6-8) she was hysterical!! She had to pee so badly and was holding it...you could tell she was in pain! I tried everything I could think of but every time she felt the pee coming she would freak out and start screaming. She WILL NOT pee on the potty. I honestly don't know what to do. On the one hand I feel like if I give her diapers back I am sending her mixed signals. On the other hand, this was one of the worst days that we have ever had and it was emotionally and physically exhausting for everyone. I am feeling desperate for some advice.... Answer: It does sound like your daughter Emma has not overcome her fear of the toilet for some reason. Will she at least sit on the potty with her diaper on? If so, you might want to try to desensitize her. For a couple of days, let her wear a pull up but make her sit on the potty in her pull-up at least a few times per day. When she is comfortable with that, try unfastening the diaper prior to her sitting on the toilet. Do that for a few days. The next step would be to actually remove the diaper before she sits down. (But don't expect her to actually pee in the potty.) Perhaps when she realizes that the toilet is nothing to be afraid of you can add back in the whole concept of actually using the potty to pee in. Have you actually asked her why she is afraid of the potty? It might be a revealing question. Maybe she is just embarrassed, or needs some privacy. You might want to ask her if she wants to use the big toilet instead of the kids potty instead... finding out how she wants to use the potty on her terms might give you some direction. Let me know what you think about all of this, and fill me in on how it goes!